In Promotion of In-Laws

In the past four months, I have gained two in-laws. This is something I recommend to anyone who has the opportunity.

Siblings are one of the awesomest things in life, but at some point your parents decide that they have enough (thankfully, my parents never did), that they are too old or they are ready for grandchildren, or some other unfortunate decision or circumstance limits the number of siblings you have. At this point, your only hope of gaining more siblings (unless you can push the adoption idea through or an unexpected surprise happens) is by substitute means.

Adopting other kids as your siblings is an acceptable and highly respectable method which we have adopted [pun fully intended, of course!] with a number of people. I greatly recommend it. It can be done with more distant relatives or good friends who need a family or whom you need in yours. Those special people who fit into your family and you do not want to lose track of. This can be officially acknowledged as it is in some of our cases, or unofficial in others.

However, the downside to this (besides it not being legally or even socially recognized - sometimes even by the adopted sibling's own original family) is that it may not be continually binding. I have not seen adoptions done by siblings of siblings long enough to know. Though I know we are not without precedent and I have not done much research on the subject, I have heard surprisingly little to indicate that others have taken up this practice. Nonetheless, anything not officially recognized by society is less likely to last long term.

So, the best thing to do is to get them married in so they officially, legally cannot escape. The other benefit to this is everyone recognizes your brother/sisterhood, which makes things less awkward and simpler all around.

(Unable to escape is key. For some reason, a number of people seem to want to be around my family, but if your family is anything like mine, you will also have fears that some day they'll realize what they've gotten into and get out if it's legally possible."I declared him my brother" doesn't hold up in court.)

You will probably find that you don't have enough siblings of the right ages and genders. However, if you have done your job well and have gotten your parents to agree to adding lots of original siblings, your likelihood of being able to make these additional siblings certain and legal increases.

For cases that simply cannot be remedied legally (I have a few, such as older girls my age who do not seem to like the idea of waiting for my 12-year-old brother, as my older one is taken, and adopting one old enough at this point would hardly make him a Beerbower, which would defeat the whole purpose), sibling adoptions must do. You must just make sure people know it's official so you don't lose them.

But this was in promotion of in-laws, not additional siblings.

However, the whole delightfulness of in-laws is that they are additional siblings. The beauty of marrying off a sibling is that while you kind of half lose a sibling, you also gain another one. Before, you had a brother or a sister. Now, you have a brother and a sister. And you get to see someone whom you have seen growing up get to go through this interesting phase. Because it's interesting-while you're gaining a sibling, they are not. They are gaining a whole new relationship entirely and don't get another sibling at all. That is an enjoyable bonus.

I imagine all of the objections and protests that are coming.  [That is, of course, these objections would be coming if anyone were actually going to read my blog-which is a stretch-and then actually respond to it-which is almost beyond imagination.]

Don't tell me it's not your fault your parents only had [insert number below five or six] kids. I am fully aware that this is written from my particular perspective. It's more interesting that way, you must admit. It is also true that there are downsides to siblings getting married. But all good things have downsides and that is not the part you talk about when you are promoting something.

Brothers are awesome things. Sisters are as well, so when you have a boy who makes your sister happy and becomes a brother, you can hardly think of a better arrangement. Unless they were actually siblings and lived at home with you, as my youngest sister asked if Stephen would when my oldest sister started dating.

Just kidding, guys. I don't want you to live with us, even if we had the room. Don't worry.

Friends that are so good they are like sisters are awesome things, and if your brother falls in love with one of them and makes her your sister officially...well, you can hardly think of a better arrangement there either.

Of course, you may have to pay the price of less interaction now, but that will be made up for in the future since, as mentioned before, they are stuck with you officially for life. [ I know I said that you don't talk about downsides when promoting things, but you actually should if you know there would be objections and you can dismiss them.] And it wouldn't be different if your friend had married someone else, except in that case you would see them even less. And you would hardly want to keep all of your good friends from getting married, even if you could. Which you couldn't. Thankfully.

All this to say that, if you have the opportunity to marry off one of your siblings and gain an in-law, go for it.

Of course, you can't really prevent it anyway, nor can you really make it happen. (Though my brother might dispute that later point.)

So I guess all I'm really saying is that at least I am glad I have in-laws for siblings.

And if you get to have them, enjoy it.