Recently, my husband bought me a Roomba. I was amazed. We can leave the house with the floors dirty, and come home amazed at how clean they are! It really has helped keep the house in general cleaner, as it needs to be “roomba ready” as my friend who recommended getting one termed it, and it’s amazing how having clean floors elevates the feeling of cleanliness of the home, and thus my motivation to make sure everything else matches.
Of course, we named him: Jeeves. IYKYK.1
However, we have had some issues with Jeeves to work out, which unsurprisingly - especially since I’ve been aiming to do a little one every day - inspired me to write a poem.
Jeeves
He hits a sock
And a pile of straw
And too big of a rock
Baby learning to crawl
He goes down a step
And into a base
Over food that is wet
Or too narrow a place
His sensor needs wiped,
His dustbag gets full,
He doesn’t want tipped
He gives up on his goal.
I texted my poem to my friend who recommended getting Jeeves. As we were discussing it, I found another floor-roaming personality who had run into some oatmeal dropped onto the floor by his brother. Struck by the similarities, I wrote another version.
Ira
He eats a sock
And a pile of straw,
Tries to swallow a rock,
Baby learning to crawl.
He falls down a step
Gets stuck in a base
Spreads food that is wet
All over the place.
His face needs wiped
His diaper is full
He doesn't want tipped
He never gives up on his goal.
Highly recommend getting the first floor crawler if you want clean floors.
Highly recommend the second if you want to use the first at least twice a day to get them that way.2
If you don’t, read more P. G. Wodehouse. Your life will be better.
Yes, my son is named Ira. Pronounced EYE-ruh, and it is only ever a boy’s name. The manly name of King David’s mighty men (at least 2 of them), a priest, and my great-grandfather.